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Verbal Diarrhoea


Over the last year, I’ve said some pretty unintelligent things, one of my favourites being the “bread thats a little bit connected at the end” which you can read all about in this article. Much like my discovery about coleslaw and bread rolls I occasionally suffer from both brain farts and verbal diarrhoea, where I say things out loud without processing the content and basically lowering my IQ. So I did what any normal person would do, I’ve compiled a small list of my favourite and stupidest things I’ve said this year.


Number One; Wine Sacks.
I’m no stranger to the “Thats what she said jokes”  but there’s times where they’re appropriate and there’s times where you unintentionally set up “thats what she said” with your mother and it makes things extremely awkward. My mum loves a glass (or two) of wine, however she refuses to buy nice bottled wine and prefers the taste of sacks.. (UNINTENTIONAL THATS WHAT SHE SAID). Mid way into our discussion we were talking about how bottles age better and like always the verbal diarrhoea comes running out with “Yeah sacks don’t age well” and my mum turns around and goes “That’s what she said”.






Number Two; Mount Everest.
I was having a conversation about going on a hike, and discussing mountains in South Australia and to my surprise without processing or even considering where I am located on the map, the verbal diarrhoea flows out with “Isn’t Mount Everest in SA?”. 
Not even close.. not by a long shot. That would be the most expensive hike I have ever been on. It’s safe to say I need to brush up on my Geography.





Number three; Verbal diarrhoea insult addition.
Nothing good ever comes after saying “I’m not trying to be rude” because statistics show 99% of the time you are going to be either intentionally rude or unintentionally rude. The mix of “I’m not trying to be rude” plus a case of verbal diarrhoea is the combination for a bad time. I was waiting in line at one of my local shops and another customer in front of me was taking a while to choose. I turned to my friend and whispered some verbal diarrhoea  “I’m not trying to be rude but is this person blind or what”  and what do you know said person turns around and goes “Actually yes, and my hearing is great”. 
I will never forget the look on the cashiers face when he served me.
His expression basically read “You’re so going to hell”




Number four; Bread rolls.
I love toasted sandwiches but what I don’t love about toasted sandwiches is the fact that once you get the hot little sucker out of the toastier machine, there’s always that one side that all the hot stuffing leaks out of. I had a brilliant idea one day after being burned by some hot tomato, that what is when they slice the bread, the only slice every s

econd piece right down to the bottom so you can use it specifically for toasted sandwiches? I thought this was a genius idea, that I had solved the issue to a problem people didn’t even know they had. My million dollar idea and so I told my friend and she just looks at me and goes.. “Amber you do know they already have something like that… They’re called bread rolls” 

So thats my favourite verbal diarrhoea moments from this year, this list could’ve been even longer with all of the questionable things I’ve said this year but I think these take the cake for IQ lowering verbal diarrhoea, if you’ve ever experience verbal diarrhoea or said something thats just as questionable, leave a comment or share this article.

I write reviews and unwanted opinions but most importantly novels.

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